Sarah's View
by sbishoff
Summary: Sarah's view on the relationship between Mark and the Judge.


Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes. The characters do not belong to me, they are the property of their original creators.

Author's Note: This started as an idea from the forum.

Sarah's View

By Susan Bishoff

Sarah stood at the sink washing the lunch dishes and was also thinking about the changes that had taken place at Gulls-Way over the last year.

Those changes all resulted from the addition of one person in residence. That person was Mark McCormick, the latest of the long list of ex-cons brought to Gulls-Way in Judge Hardcastle's rehabilitation project. This last one was a smart-mouthed young car thief.

Before McCormick came to Gulls-Way, Judge Hardcastle had been her employer and friend for several years. She had worked for him when he lost first his son and then his wife. She had witnessed how he had closed off his heart and wouldn't let others in.

Yes, he had friends, but Sarah knew that even they were kept at a distance. He would keep the wall around his heart fortified and refused to let his guard drop.

Judge Hardcastle has been so lonely since he lost his family and thought I've been here every day, it's not the same. Although he didn't shut himself away from the friends he already had, he was careful not to let anyone else get close. His gruff nature has been very effective at keeping others at bay.

But then along comes this smart-mouthed kid with an attitude to match. He showed the judge no respect and soon the judge began to come alive. He argues with the young man and gives back as good as he gets. Judge Hardcastle is more alive and vibrant than he's been since his wife's death.

That brought her thoughts back to the young man. She could still remember her reaction when the Judge first brought the boy home with him and told her to put him in the Gatehouse. The gardener's trailer had worked for all the other ex-cons and in her opinion was good enough for this one as well. Hardcastle had insisted, telling her that this one was different. But she knew better. She would watched him and catch him when he did something wrong. So she watched and waited.

Those first days, no matter how charming the young con tried to be, she showed no softening toward him. She remained cold and aloof toward him because she couldn't let the boy think she could be fooled by a quick wit or a sharp tongue.

"And what a mouth that boy has," she said aloud as she thought over the way the judge and ex-con interact with other.

_"Those two go on as if they can't stand each other. His Honor lays down the law and that smart-mouthed kid pushes the boundaries every time. I've never seen anyone make the Judge so mad, so fast since Tommy,"_ she thought, chuckling to herself.

As she finished the dishes and started the dinner preparations, her thoughts about the young man continued. She thought of how he was nothing as he pretended to be. She had realized a long time ago that he wasn't so tough; that underneath it all he was really a lonely and often frightened child. She wasn't sure when she quit watching to see of he would steal the silver and when she had started watching him with affection. It must have happened over time when he showed that he was different from the previous ex-cons that had resided at Gulls-Way.

_One day when the kid had been here about three weeks, I had returned from grocery shopping at the market. I had several bags in the car and I dreaded having to carry all those bags into the house. But I knew better than to expect help from any of the ex-cons living on the estate, including the this latest one. He was always complaining about any chore me or Judge Hardcastle gave him, so I knew he'd never volunteer to help._

_So I gathered up the first few bags and started for the house. I had taken just a few steps when I saw Mark coming toward me._

_"Hi, Sarah, back from the market already? Here, I'll carry those for you. Are there more in the car?" he asked, smiling as he walked up and without waiting for and answer, took the bags from me and headed toward the house._

_"Yes, there are several more in the car," I replied as I followed him into the house. I watched as he went back to get more. I watched in amazement as he carried all the bags in from the car and then put them on the table. He then quietly went to finish his chores without another word."_

As she stood remembering that day, she realized that it was around that time that her feelings for the young ex-car thief had begun to change. "That kid can sure complain about doing his chores, but even then, he still does them. And he has sometimes done things without being asked," she said thoughtfully.

She also thought about how he is so easy to please. _"It takes so little to make him happy," _she thought to herself as she then remembered his birthday.

_I asked him once in conversation what kind of cake was his favorite and then baked it for him for his birthday. I thought that even though I didn't trust him, something nice should still be done for his birthday._

_I can still see the look on his face when I placed the cake in front of him and wished him a Happy Birthday. His eyes got bright and his face was nearly split by the grin that was on it._

_"Thanks, Sarah," he said as he sat looking at the cake, almost as if he took his eyes off it, it would disappear._

_"Well, it's your birthday, so I wanted to make you the kind of cake you like best," I told him._

_"You didn't have to do anything for my birthday, Sarah, but it is nice that someone remembered," the boy had replied quietly. He then looked up at me and his eyes were those of a child that has known very few happy times._

_I felt a lump in my throat that prevented words from forming as I looked into those lonely eyes. Finally finding my voice, I said, "You're welcome, Mark. Now blow out the candles and cut the cake._

_I glanced over at the judge who had been sitting silent during this scene, I know from the look on his face that he had also noticed the look in the young ex-con's eyes._

It as after that day that she found herself trying to do small things to bring his smile back. She also found because he often seemed more of a child than a man it was hard not to mother him.

As she continued to prepare the meal, she thoughts turned to a few months ago when Mark had gotten quite sick after getting caught in a sudden downpour.

_The rainfall had come on suddenly and Mark had been working out in the yard and had been caught in it. By the time he came in the kitchen from outside, he was soaked to the skin. He was dripping water everywhere and starting to shiver when I came in from the den._

_"Mark, you need to change out of those wet clothes before you get sick," I told him._

_"I never get sick," the young man responded._

_"Even so, it doesn't pay to take chances, Now go change," I ordered and watched as he went to change._

_Mark returned a few minutes later in dry clothes and I thought no more about it until the next morning when he came into the house sneezing and sat at the table._

_"Mark did you catch a cold?" I asked as I walked over to him._

_"Nothing I can't handle, Sarah," the kid answered flippantly._

_"Look at me," I said taking his chin in my hand and turning his face so I could look at it closely. Touching his forehead, I noticed it felt quite warm. "You look very pale, Mark, and your forehead is warm. I think you've gotten sick from getting wet yesterday and should go back to bed." I told him_

_"I'm fine, Sarah," the young man replied trying to downplay how lousy he really felt. "Besides, if I do I'll have to listen to the Judge complain about me loafing and I don't feel well enough to deal with that," he remarked, unwittingly telling me that he didn't feel well._

_"So, you are feeling bad," I countered, using his own admission against him._

_Realizing he had been caught, Mark responded, "I've felt better but I don't feel too bad. I just don't want to have to listen to Hardcase complain, is all."  
_

_"Listen to me complain about what?" Judge Hardcastle said entering the room._

_"Nothing," McCormick replied quietly, turning his head before the older man could get a look at his face._

_Smiling at the young man's reluctance to let the judge see that he was sick, I said, "Mark's sick and I told him I he should go back to bed." Seeing Mark about to argue, I added, "He came in here sneezing and he's very pale and warm, so I think he has a fever."_

_"Look at me, kiddo," the jurist said and then looking at the ex-con's face added gruffly, "Get to bed, McCormick. I don't need you running around here with a fever. Next thing you know you'll fall on the hedge clippers and get hurt. I'd rather have you in bed for a few days instead of a few weeks."_

_"You're all heart, Hardcase," the young man shot back as he slowly rose from his chair and started for the door._

_"Wait a minute, Mark," I called out and when he turned around, I added, "You get in bed and I'll bring you some breakfast."_

_Mark nodded and started for the door again but was stopped when the judge ordered, "McCormick, you go upstairs to the spare bedroom to bed." the young man turned and stared at Judge Hardcastle. Before he could argue, the jurist went on, "If you go to the Gatehouse, you'll probably be listening to music or doing other things instead of resting like you should." Realizing that he was letting his concern for the young ex-con to show he quickly went on. "Besides, Sarah will be bringing you your meals and she doesn't need to be going up and down those stairs, not to mention trying to get around that mess you seem to feel comfortable with. And knowing your luck, you'd fall down the stairs trying to get to the bathroom."_

_Realizing that he was not going to win the argument and not really feeling up to it, Mark turned and walked toward the stairs. As he passed Judge Hardcastle he said hoarsely, "I need my pajamas from the Gatehouse. He then continued to the stairs and up to the bedroom._

_Mark spent most of the day sleeping. I woke him for his meals and let him sleep otherwise. The next morning he was still feeling pretty poorly. I went to take him his lunch that afternoon._

_I was brushing the damp curls from his forehead with a cool washcloth when we awoke. He was still feverish and a little confused. "Mama," he said quietly._

_"No, sweetheart, it's not your Mama. It's Sarah," I told him comfortingly._

_His eyes cleared as awareness returned. "Sarah, you reminded me of Mama so much that I forgot for a minute that she was gone. She used to take care of me like this when I was sick," he said quietly and then looked away, that sad, lonely look in his eyes again._

_I suddenly had this strong desire to wipe that look from his face, but before I could think of something to say, he continued. "Thanks, Sarah for doing all these things for me. It's been a long time since someone cared for me when I was sick, especially someone who didn't have to."_

_Finally finding my voice I said, "You're welcome Mark. You're a good boy and Judge Hardcastle and I care about you and what happens to you." I was relieved to see the sad look leave his eyes and a smile appear._

_He ate his lunch and then settled down in the bed to rest. Judge Hardcastle and I spent the next few days caring for him. The Judge spent time with him so he wouldn't be lonely and I took care of his meals and giving him his medicine. Mark recovered quickly and life soon returned to normal--at least to what passed for normal at Gulls-Way._

Sarah took the roast from the oven and then went to preparing the vegetables. As she worked her thoughts on the relationship between the young ex-con and the judge continued.

_But the real changes came in Judge Hardcastle and Mark themselves._

_Judge Hardcastle has brought several ex-cons here for rehabilitation purposes over the past years. It didn't take long for these young men to revert to their previous behavior, leaving the Judge feeling disappointed and betrayed. He had seen so many of these ex-cons go bad that he was expected McCormick to fail as well. He knew it would only be a matter of time before the young man let him down as the others had._

_The Judge felt that it would be better if he had no feelings for his young assistant, so that when the boy disappointed him as the other ex-cons had, it wouldn't hurt. Only the disappointment never came._

_Mark has proven himself trustworthy and reliable. He could have run anytime but he gave his word that he wouldn't and then upheld it. He worked on the cases with the Judge and helped him catch those awful criminals._

_As Judge Hardcastle started to realize the young ex-con wouldn't take off and was proving he had what it takes, he started to enjoy their "arguments" and life again. He will often say something just to get a rise out of the younger man just as Mark will do to him. There is affection and respect behind their words even if it doesn't sound like it. It took me a while to realize that the words were often just words, and that they use the gruffness and cockiness to say what they can't say to each other otherwise._

_I think the reason the Judge was drawn to Mark initially was he reminded His Honor of his dead son. Mark is about the same age Tommy would be had he lived. Then there is the fact that his actions and behaviors are similar to Tom's as well. When the boy first came here, I think Judge Hardcastle saw Tommy in him and saw helping the smart-mouthed young man as a way to make up to Tommy for where he thinks he failed him._

_But as time passed, he began to see the young ex-con not as a shadow of his dead son, but as the lost, lonely child he was. The judge was drawn to that side of Mark that needed nurturing, as I was, and found himself caring even when he didn't want to._

_It may have started out that way but it is no longer Tommy the Judge sees when he looks at Mark--it's Mark himself. Judge Hardcastle looks at this boy much as he did Thomas when he was alive. Pride and love are plain to see on his face, but due to his uneasiness with emotions he hides them behind his gruff nature. I know he has come to see the young ex-con as a son--a second son that has showed him how to love._

_Just as there have been changes in the Judge there have been changes in Mark as well. When he came here, he had such a wall around him. He was so smart-mouthed and hateful that it was difficult to not write him off from the start._

_But as time passed, I saw moments when he was not quite so tough I realized the tough exterior hid a hurt and very scared young man._

_He wanted this arrangement to work but he had been acting tough for so long that he didn't know any other way to act. But Judge Hardcastle gave him as good as the kid dished out._

_The young man soon learned that to survive here he was going to have to do what was expected of him. That didn't stop his mouth from running but the Judge and I had learned by that point that a lot of what comes out is meant to shock us in order to keep us at a distance._

_The young man was as afraid of caring for someone as he was of letting someone care about him. He wanted it so bad and you could not see it in his eyes, but he was also afraid of it. His past was something he doesn't talk about much, but I get the feeling it has been sad and lonely. He has hinted that he has learned not to let people get close because they will go away or send him away._

_But slowly as Judge Hardcastle showed him that he was not going to send him away and he began to realize the older man might care for him, he began to relax. _

_As the Judge backed him up and defended him to those that would make judgments, his opinion of the man who sent him to prison began to change. He started to respect the older man and then saw him as someone to look up to. As the jurist had faith in him, he began to want to prove that faith was well placed. He wanted to make the gruff man proud of him--to show he had made a wise choice._

_Respecting the Judge for the aspects he found worthy was the first step toward what came next. Just as Mark fills a need in the Judge, I believe that His Honor fills a hole in Mark's heart as well. The young man looks up to the older man as a father figure and the respect has turned to love. But just like Judge Hardcastle, Mark has defended himself for so long that he is just as uncomfortable dealing with emotions and hides his affection behind his smart mouth._

_But the most amazing thing is that even as those two are going about it, they both know what lies underneath. They don't need to say "I love you." It lies within their words and actions and both recognize it for what it is when they see or hear it._

Sarah had fixed one of their favorite meals and was putting the finishing touches on the meal. She then placed the food on the dining room table and went to tell the two men that dinner was ready.

Today was a day of celebration. It was one year ago today that a brash young ex-con had come to live at Gulls-Way and in that time he had changed their lives more than anyone had imagined. They had become a family.


End file.
